#59 Weekly Weigh In

This week I thought I was going to be able to post some good news about my weight loss journey. However that won't be the case. This week I know I ate a lot but I honestly can tell you that I tracked every bit of food that went into my mouth. This week I gained over 3 pounds. When I weighed in and the receptionists told me that I gained that amount, I was heart broken; I didn't want to believe it. I guess I really did eat too much.

I have lost focus on my weight loss goals. I guess I am little overwhelmed and frustrated. I have been playing with the same 3 or 4 pounds since around May 2011. I had hoped that in 2012 that I would be able to get pass the 35 pound mark. Since my cousin's wedding I have lost my focus and motivation. Some kind of way I need to get that focus and motivation back. I need to make a conscious effort to organize everything about my life. I think my weightless journey has sort of mirrored what is going on in my head.

I am frustrated about my life all the way around. At 26, I thought I would have some kind of direction in my life. I thought I would have a job and be in a relationship. Neither thing has come true. Sometimes I feel like a little bit of a failure. Although my freelance business, Mayet Graphics, has grown a bit, I wish I had something else to supplement my income.

I know what I need to do to accomplish my goals. I need to stop sabotaging my weightless. I need to ask myself, Why did I want to lose the weight in the first place? Was it for me or for everyone else? I need to get back to why I started the journey in the first place.

I have been reading Jennifer Hudson's I Got This. It is a great read. It sort of gets at what the new Weight Watchers program is about. It is sort of motivating in a way.

In conclusion, I have decided that I want to make small changes. I will try to set small goals each week. I need to get in the mind set of a "lifestyle change," and out of the "diet" mindset. I will try to exercise more than just my dance class. Finally, I WILL stop drinking so many diet cokes during the week.

If anyone has any advice for me, please feel free to email me, Facebook message me, or anything. I hope everyone has a great weekend.