#58 Blah Blah Blah

Have you ever had one of those days where you just feel "blah." Today is one of those days for me. I know I probably shouldn't write about something that is frustrating me or something that isn't positive, but maybe if I get what I am frustrated out into the open, I won't think about it.

It is hard to admit something that has always be in mind; something that I think about often. So I am just going to come out and say it. I have NEVER had a boyfriend. Most days I am okay about it and try not to think about it. However, today it is in the forefront of my brain. Maybe it is because Valentine's Day is just around the corner. For people who have a significant other, that day is special and great, but for those of who are single, it is a reminder that we are indeed single. Or maybe I am thinking about it because I just read a coming of age series about first loves, The Summer I Turned Pretty series. I absolutely love this book series, but I really couldn't identify with the characters because I have never been in love or had my first love. The image below are the covers to the story. I really think every girl who dreams of the first loves and remembers the summer they turned pretty should read it.

I know they don't mean any harm, but people keep asking me when I will get a boyfriend, which in itself is a constant reminder I don't have one. Like every little girl, I have dreamt of the day when I when it will be my turn to tie the knot to the man of my dreams. In fact, my special day is practically planned out. People keep telling me my day will but I can't help but wonder if that day will come. I just hope I won't be the real 40 year old virgin.

I have had new obsession with Pinterest. It is sort of an obsession. The other day I was looking on the website and someone had pinned something that just hit home. Something that has made me really believe that one day I will get married and all those people I have been there for will be there for me. I need to keep that saying to left in my mind day in and day out.

As I get older, it seem like everyone around me is either getting married or having children. One day I hope that will be me. I can't wait till I can have a husband and children. I just want to love and be loved in return.

As I am writing this, I can't help but have tears in my eyes. Well enough pitying myself and just to start being positive. I have to stop thinking, "it will never happen," and start to believe, "It will happen."


Thanks everyone for letting me vent just a little bit. Any advise or words of wisdom is sure is welcomed.