#58 Blah Blah Blah

Have you ever had one of those days where you just feel "blah." Today is one of those days for me. I know I probably shouldn't write about something that is frustrating me or something that isn't positive, but maybe if I get what I am frustrated out into the open, I won't think about it.

It is hard to admit something that has always be in mind; something that I think about often. So I am just going to come out and say it. I have NEVER had a boyfriend. Most days I am okay about it and try not to think about it. However, today it is in the forefront of my brain. Maybe it is because Valentine's Day is just around the corner. For people who have a significant other, that day is special and great, but for those of who are single, it is a reminder that we are indeed single. Or maybe I am thinking about it because I just read a coming of age series about first loves, The Summer I Turned Pretty series. I absolutely love this book series, but I really couldn't identify with the characters because I have never been in love or had my first love. The image below are the covers to the story. I really think every girl who dreams of the first loves and remembers the summer they turned pretty should read it.

I know they don't mean any harm, but people keep asking me when I will get a boyfriend, which in itself is a constant reminder I don't have one. Like every little girl, I have dreamt of the day when I when it will be my turn to tie the knot to the man of my dreams. In fact, my special day is practically planned out. People keep telling me my day will but I can't help but wonder if that day will come. I just hope I won't be the real 40 year old virgin.

I have had new obsession with Pinterest. It is sort of an obsession. The other day I was looking on the website and someone had pinned something that just hit home. Something that has made me really believe that one day I will get married and all those people I have been there for will be there for me. I need to keep that saying to left in my mind day in and day out.

As I get older, it seem like everyone around me is either getting married or having children. One day I hope that will be me. I can't wait till I can have a husband and children. I just want to love and be loved in return.

As I am writing this, I can't help but have tears in my eyes. Well enough pitying myself and just to start being positive. I have to stop thinking, "it will never happen," and start to believe, "It will happen."


Thanks everyone for letting me vent just a little bit. Any advise or words of wisdom is sure is welcomed.

#57 Weekly Weigh-In

Before I tell everyone of my weight-loss this week. I need to make correction. After looking at my weight card, I found that it was not right. The numbers didn't add up right. So last night, my weight-watchers leader and I fixed everything. Last week, I posted that I had lost 4 pounds last week making my total weight loss over 35. I am sorry to say that that is wrong. Last week lost a little over a half a pound making my total weight loss a little over 31 pounds.

Fast forward to this week. I sure made up for the mess up. This week I lost 1.4 pounds making my total weight loss of 32.8.  So in the last two weeks I lost roughly about 2 pounds. I couldn't be more excited.

So what I can conclude is that the Weight Watchers program actually works if you put in the work you need to put in. I have tracked everything I have put in my mouth faithfully for the last two weeks, which is one, I believe, is the most important part of the weight loss program. I have to make a conscious effort every time I put anything in my mouth; for some reason, it is hard for my to do it. I don't know if I just forget or if if is for some other reason.

Part of me is fearing what my life will be like after I reach my ultimate weight loss goal. I have never been the "skinny girl," and I have accepted that for the majority of my life. I fear the attention that I will be getting when I hit my weight loss goal, for I am one who doesn't like to be the center of attention. I actually like to be the loner in the corner observing all those around me.

I am absolutely loving that I have lost 32 pounds, which is a lot. I am determined to finish my weight loss and keep it off. I have found that setting small goals works for me. Looking a the big picture is sort of scary to me, so if I make small goals I tend to accomplish what I set out.

#56 Weight Loss

Two blogs in one day!!!!!

I first saw this on Pinterest; I want to do this. I will post again when I actually do this; if I have it on the counter it may give me some motivation to actually finish losing the weight I have to loose. I will put it on my counter. I will ad on big marble to show with I get to my goal weight.  I don't know if I will start from the beginning or just from now.

I am so excited. I will post how when I do it. Maybe this weekend!!!!

Happy Monday Everyone!

#55 Goals for the Week

It is another Monday which means the start of another week.  For me, this means more goals for the week.  Last week, I didn't accomplish many of the goals that I had hoped. So I will set forth some more goals that I hope to accomplish this week. With last weeks loss of 4.6 pounds, I can't expect to loose that much this week or to lose any. I just hope I don't gain any. I could even hope just to maintain. I believe the only thing on my goal list I accomplished was to track everyday.

Goals for the Week

Track every little thing that goes into my mouth. 

 Exercise more than once a week. 

Eat more veggies and fruits. 

 Drink more water and less Diet Coke.
Organize my closet and hang up folded clothes.

Finish reading the book that I am ready.

#54 Weekly Weigh-In

It is Friday, the day after weigh-in day. Most weeks I dread telling the world about weigh-in. Most of the time it is a minimal lost, like .5 or a gain. This week is another story. To be honest, I thought I was going to gain, but when I weighed in I ecstatic. I believe my face dropped; I was on the verge of umping up and down, but I held it in. Wait for it.......

I lost over 4 pounds this week making my total weight loss just over 35. I reached my short term goal of making it to 35 pounds lost. I got another 5 pound star sticker to put in my book. (I love getting these.) Now with that said, I don't expect to be losing that much every week. I am sure my weight loss every week will go back down to .5 or 1 pound, and that is fine by me. Honestly, the only things different was that I actually TRACKED everyday. I tracked everything that I put into my mouth whether it was a piece of gum or a sip of diet coke (I really need to cut back). Also, I ate more veggies this week. I guess in 5 more pounds I have to take another picture to show my weight loss. Maybe by then I can actually see a change.

Family members and friends that are close to me seem to always ask me "what is your goal?" I never really have an answer. My favorite answer I give is, "I don't know."

Here is my next short-goal:

I want the weight on my drivers license to be my actual weight, and at some point I want to change that number to much lower than what it says.

Long Term Goals: In long term, I would really like to wear a bikini. I am not talking about those barely there ones either. I want one similar to the one to the right. I have never in my entire life have been able to wear one of these except for when I was 2.

I also want to be able to share some of my sister's beautiful clothes. I want to be able to shop in her closet.

I BELIEVE that 2012 is my year. Happy Friday Everyone!!!!!

#53 Goal Setting

I have been making a conscious effort to write some kind of post more than once a week. So far, I am slowing being able to that. I have found that if I set smaller goals, I tend to achieve them rather than looking solely at the big picture. If I set goals one week at a time, maybe I will actually do them.

Goals for this Week:

• Hang up clothes in my closet. (I tend to be a pretty messy person. If I do this, I might actually see the clothes I have to wear)
• Go through stuff from the storage building (The stuff is just sitting but the back door where I left it)
• Donate clothes. (The clothes is way to big and I am DETERMINED not to be able to wear them)
• Work Out at least 3 times a week. (My dancing class won't count)
• Track everyday (So far, so good. I have tracked everyday since Friday, Jan 13, 2012. Lets just hope I can keep it up.)
• Cook More...I think I should say cook period. (This goal will be for the year)

I think I need to try to accomplish all of these. If I do, I will be closer to my goal. It will help better myself, which is something that I have been working on the last few years. As far as my weight-loss efforts, which is for some reason at a standstill. My short-term goal is get past the total number of 35 pounds lost. If I do that, I will be jumping for joy. Keeping my fingers crossed. I have been playing with 2 or 3 pounds every week since May of 2011. Lets hope I can get passed 35 with in the next month. 

Happy Tuesday Everyone!!!!

#52 2011 In Review

This was supposed to be the second blog from yesterday.

It is about two into 2012; I think it is time to write this one.

When I think back on the year that just finished, I can't help think that I had some successes.

Although I played with the some 2 to 3 pounds ALL YEAR, I succeeded in sticking with my weight loss journey. I don't know how many people could have done that. I BELIEVE that 2012 will be my year and I WILL finish loosing my weight.

I had my first job and lost my first job. It was a great learning experience and I absolutely loved the people I got to work with. I don't know what I am supposed to learn from this, but sooner or later God will show me why.

My cousin and one of my best friends got married. I had the honor of standing by her with my sister as her maid of honor. She also was gracious enough to let me and Mayet Graphics design the majority other paper goods for the wedding. I am thankful for this because it has led to me get a new client.

My parents celebrated the 42nd wedding anniversary. These two are an inspiration to me and my sister. I hope that one day I will have the kind of love that they do.

I was able to sort of reconnect with one of my best friends from high-school, Carmen Folse. Although we never really lost touch with each other, throughout the last year, we have becoming closer. We have been meeting more often to stay in touch. I have feeling that she and I will be friends for a lifetime.

As I reflect back on 2011, I know I forgot somethings, I know I have changed for the better. As the weight has come off, my confidence has built up. I am becoming the person I want to be; I am finding who I am. I went from someone who didn't care what they looked like to someone who wears makeup more often then her sister (never thought that could happen). I am now someone who enjoys eating healthier foods. Also, I enjoy exercising; Zumba has changed my life.

The final thing about 2011: My sister and I have grown so close of this past year. I can remember the many fights we have shared growing up. Now she is one of my best friends and although she is my baby sis, I look up to her. She and her husband have been two of my main supporters in my weight loss journey/struggle. They with the rest of my family are rooting for me. Thanks Everyone.

So Long 2011; Hello 2012

#51 Weekly Weigh-In

First off, yesterday I said I was going to write not one but two blogs; obviously that didn't happy. I will try to write the second one after this one. NO PROMISES!!!!

I haven't posted about my weight loss for a couple weeks I believe. I kind of took time off "my diet" and didn't really follow any healthy eating plan. I didn't track, I didn't exercise, and I surely didn't watch what I was eating. However, I kind of noticed some changes in the amount of food I was eating. My portions were a lot smaller than what I would have normally ate for the holidays. I eyeball cups of food and ate more veggies. For Christmas Day night, on the invite were instructed to bring some sort of desert. I actually brought something on the lighter side. I have no clue how many point it turned out to be, but it sure was tasty.

Pineapple Angel Food Cake

1 box of Angel Food Cake Mix

1 Can of crushed pineapple in its own juice

1 tub of Fat Free Whip Cream

All these ingredients are for the cake in icing.

First off, I had a mishap, so if you are going to make an angel food cake, DON'T USE A BUNT PAN. Because the pineapple was heavier than the angel food cake the pineapple sunk all the way down to the bottom causing the cake to stick to the pan. Thanks to my awesome mom for getting it out. 

Back to the recipe: I suggest using a 2 round pans or one 9 x 13. Spray the pans with non-stick spray. 

Mix the angel food cake like the directions give you. After the cake is mixed, spoon in big spoonfuls of crushed pineapple into the cake mix. (REMEMBER the pineapple will sink to the bottom) Use as much as you want, but save some for the icing. 

Bake cake as directed on the box. While the cake is cooling, you need to mix your icing. Take the remainder of the crushed pineapple and the whip cream and mix well. When your cake is cooled, ice it with your icing. Depending on how big your cake is, you may or may not have icing left over. Enjoy your low fat, low calorie, tasty desert. 

Back to this weeks weigh-in: Over the holidays I gain only .8 (point 8) pounds. This week I lost .4 (point 4) of the pounds I gained. My goals this week are to track as much as I can and to exercise a little more. Lets just hope I can do it.

#50 Coffee

So far, one of my New Year's resolutions is sticking with me. This post will be one of two I will be posting.

My love of coffee got started when I was about 5 or 6 years old. My dad and I used to go visit Nanny Lillion every Saturday for most of my childhood and have coffee. Dad would have his usual black coffee and nanny would mix the perfection concoction of milk, coffee, and sugar for me. I don't recall if we had any food. We would all sit at her kitchen counter and just chat about the week and what amazing recipe nanny had cooked or was going to cook. This lady was and still is an amazing cook. My mouth is watering just thinking about it.

Fast forward to college: As an art student at The University of Mississippi known by most as Ole Miss (Hotty Toddy), I spent most of my time in the art labs finishing up projects up into the wee hours of the morning or working in the computer lab. Coffee, like many art students, became a staple for me, whether it was to help me stay up or to wake me up in the morning for an 8am class.

Fast forward to the present: Coffee is still needed to wake me up. Every  morning after Dad and I get to the office to start the day, I run to McDonalds and get my coffee. During the winter, I get it hot, but on those hot summer days, nothing is better than an iced coffee. Some people don't like iced coffee, but it has all of the needed qualities coffee brings to me plus the added cooling I need for those hot summer days.

Coffee brings me to my happy place. For me, it is like brings me to a place where I am calm, cool, and collected. It brings me to a place where I feel safe from the world. If you add a good book, it sends me into heaven.

Happy Thursday everyone!!!!

#49 2012

2012 is already a week into itself. New Years resolutions never seem to stick for anyone. People usually stick to whatever they say they are going to do for about a month or two and just forget about after that. I usually have more than one resolution, but instead of calling them "new years resolutions" I am just saying the things I would love to accomplish. I need to stop procrastinating and "Just Do It"

1. Stop Procrastinating
2. Get Organized
3. Lose approximately 20 pounds before Disney in June
4. Pay for said vacation
5. Get a job (at this point it doesn't have to be a design job)
6. Read 50 or more books
7. Cross some things off my "Bucket List"
8. Get more clients for Mayet Graphics
9. Get a car
10. re-decorate my kitchen
11. Get rid of too big clothes
12. Exercise more & tone up my bod
13. Get new design programs for my new MacBook Pro
14. Write More Blogs
15. Spend less money

If I accomplish these, I will be satisfied and happy.

The last couple of years have been about me. However, I need to get my butt in gear and finish my weight loss. Lets just hope 2012 is my year.